Oh my Gosh it’s been so long

You guys, I’m so sorry I haven’t written in sooooo long! It’s not because I didn’t want to, but for so long I just retreated into myself and I literately almost lost Me…there is a lot to uncover here. I know that so many of you will understand and many if you won’t and that is totally okay with me. So I will now just try and let you know my life today and I’ll try to fill in any gaps from the last few years ( I am writing through so much tears ).

I wish I could say life is amazing…and over all, I still seriously feel my life is so good and I do love it. But…But…But… I still have a beautiful amazing child that I love with all my heart, who is 15 and still doesn’t sleep through the night. ….

Ummmm yep you heard that correctly. It’s been 15 years, and my oldest son Noah Luke, who made me a Mother…and forever changed me….has not slept through the night one solid week in his life.

So I said it. I really don’t want everyone to know it because…I have a business that I love (I’m a Hair Stylist for 19years) and If “people knew” they might not want to come to me anymore…

Even though I haven’t slept through most nights for 15 years… I can tell you this… I promise you… Whatever you are facing..that you know is just too much, please, if you can, ask for help.

There were so many times and I still struggle with this, where I just did t know what to say or how to ask…but I was dying…no joke Dying…and this is what I did..I got on my knees and said Lord…if you love me and I believe you do…PLEASE SEND HELP!

And he always did, and still does…. so if you are all the way done…with no more to give or if you know someone that might be…Please reach out to them and tell them you care.. maybe just offer to do something simple…I believe anything matters..love them as much as you can and help them get dang sleep! Wait I think that was a plug for me..whoops ..forgive me, I’m still very tired…love you all!

I promise these things that seem like permanent thorns but they are not…they are what keep us close to The Father and also what helps us love each other more…and wouldn’t you agree , we need to love each other more.